So I have had quite a few conversations over the years about the name that I have chosen to adopt for my studio and collection of work. I remember in one particular conversation where an individual was sharing their own perspective regarding the "OkRandom" name and how it may elude to the perception that I may not take my work very seriously...it seems....immature...too youthful...or to not be very fitting for some of my work. I understand this individuals perspective...but in short I feel that the name represents a commitment to my craft and a commitment to the young man to encouraged me to actually nurture my creativity and to become more serious about my work. The name in itself can come across as something that you would hear come out of the mouth a late teen...or someone in their early twenties "Dude...Ok-Random thought..." right before going on some rant or tirade about pop culture, politics, creative ideas, or relationships. The individual who was honest enough to challenge me to stop playing around with my talents and engage them was a very insightful,creative, and brilliant young 20 something. OkRandom is the name that my friend used as his identity for his blog, social media, music, and writings. Bobby Tuttle was a notorious think tank who's ideas would percolate from the recesses of his overactive mind and spew forth its contents at random times without warning. To some his ideas could seem to come out of nowhere,but, to those that knew him understood the source of this content and could often follow along easily. He was highly intuitive and was the embodiment of someone who had all of the creative elements coming together that would shape him into an artistic force of nature. For those of us that knew him best, we watched his battle with Lukemia attempt to dominate his creative center and the substance that made Bobby who he was. Bobby's battle with Leukemia took a toll on him in many ways, but, as horrific as that battle was....there was this part of Bobby's nature that held fast until his very final moments on this earth. Resilience....it is the only way that I know how to describe it....his mind body and spirit where pushed to their limits yet Bobby was able to hold fast to his identity and his desire to help others cut dig past the surface and unearth their own identity. Bobby also had a strong sense of community....he desired not just to establish friendships but a place of belonging...and he had few reservations about inviting others into that place. This made Bobby more than a friend and more like a brother to many. In his final days this extended family is what Bobby reached for and held fast too...giving everything that he could of himself to others before he passed. Bobby invested heavily into the lives of others before his passing. I have never forgotten this. It is like this part of Bobby reached into my chest and pulled the mess of Dave Jolley to the surface. Shortly after Bobby's passing I began to take inventory of what was life giving in my world "which I desperately needed to thrive" and what was expendable. One of the most expendable things in my world was a nature within myself that toyed around with substantial gifts and relationships..a part of myself that enjoyed playing games. I actually became rather disgusted with how I toyed around with my relationships in my youth and I became rather critical of others who did the same....I guess it reminded me of a part of myself that I did not want to be reminded of....thankfully this lasted only a season and I in time I became more tolerant. So I realize at this point in this entry that I am rambling about very personal issues...so....lets try and bring this around. All of this personal growth converged into a place where I took on the advice that Bobby had given me "You are talented....quit toying with your creativity and do something...". So...I set a few short term goals to create one work a month for a year and then I set my long term goal to show my work at the end of that year. I had no theme....no plan....no content on hand....actually I had not drawn in years and I was terrified to put my pen to paper in fear that I might discover that I had lost something. I took some courage and a gut check but eventually I began to draw and much to my surprise I discovered a vault of content to pull from. The Dam broke...so did my expectations and the critical nature that dominated my creative past. The perfectionist that crippled my creativity had died....my friend helped slay that beast with his forth rite commentary regarding my old nature. I began to experience creative freedom for the first time in my life and I quickly learned to protect that part of myself with a tenacity that helped drive me forward creatively. I began to break rules....I began to take the tools that I had been given in the past and the scars of my education and I used them in nonconventional ways that I am sure could make my instructors cringe. I revisited the rebellious artist of my youth and I told him.....it is ok Dave.....you are not broken....it is the mold that breaks around your creative form....just because you do not fit...does not mean that it is all a loss. I would like to take a moment to say Bless you all who fit in that mold....there is much beauty there.....but some of us have this thing.....this wild thing that bites and claws at the boundaries that seeks to shape and define our nature into something that is palatable. This also does not mean that I do not find the contours of these creative molds to be helpful along the way....they do educate....but I cannot dwell in that place...I get a little claustrophobic. Think ....a gorilla in a shop full of fine china... I am that catastrophe. This is really one of the few areas of my life where I allow this level of discord and disorder to reside. The canvas is my sandbox and all are invited to play...if you don't mind a little chaos. So... I am going to bring this to a close. To anyone who has painstakingly meandered their way through this blog God Bless you....I know it was a chore,but. truly..thank you as always for your consideration and time....I hope that in some way it was fruitful.