Feeling a little Apathetic? In need of a little excitement? Well this should excite even the most grassroots fed sheeple ...I mean "People". We all know that peace and tranquility are simply the byproduct of the smoke and mirrors deployed by the dark forces that seek to control humanity. My colleagues and I have dedicated our lives to providing you with the "real" story behind all of this "progress and productivity". We have teamed up with the most brilliant social and mechanical engineers on the planet to bring you the "truth" and entertainment that you desire. I introduce to you...The Media Mogulator. Designed to flush out the truth with fire, famine, and the most brilliantly engineered catastrophe's. The Media Mogulator is driven by our patented CHAOS engine. Our sophisticated algorithms are designed to take the droll status quo and generate a the most nefarious cause and effect possible. Here is an example of the output from our CHAOS feed " Your smiley neighbor...he has it all...a finely manicured lawn...beautiful wife and kids...active in the community...is his success the byproduct of his integrity and good faithful investment in humanity or is he a secret agent for a subterranean reptilian biomorph hell-bent on the destruction of the world as we know it!!!" Yes.... Our Media Mogulator is guaranteed to generate the mania that you desire.
Disclaimer: Our product may cause depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, the urge to write intriquite manifestos about mankind's need to rise against its subterranean reptilian nemesis,economic collapse, promote zealotry-religious fanaticism, falsely accusing your neighbor of spraying Monsanto mind control gas as opposed to them actually using bug spray to rid their yard of pesky mosquitos, Slapping your neighbors head while having good neighborly conversation in fear that they were about to deploy their reptilian mind control antennae and attempt to seduce your mind, buying quirky art that addresses any of the aforementioned phenomena.
Case studies have also shown certain health concerns including but not limited to Heart Attack, High Blood Pressure, Hives, Depression, Confusion, Vertigo, Stroke. If you experience any of these unwanted side effects ...contact your local physician....there is a pill for that.
